Oh Hrothgar, Hrothgar king of the Danes, fuck the waffles you’re gonna be goddamn insane. You live in the Dakotas, Christ fucking alive, murdering wenches and fucking bitches galore. God damn son, no one asks you “Why fucking fore?”
In college you’ll be the slayer among slayer, punch those dick fucking Quidditch players. The manliest man, a beard to your balls, fuck ZZ top and their shitty ass drawls. They’ll crawl to your knees, and beg for your secrets however you’ll tell them to fuck off and go snort from the beakers!
I am the Bob Dylan, your fucking jester. Make sure to take care of your goddamn sister, I swear to god I will cut a man, little fucking g, fuck that big man. The days will drag on, and the nights will be shit, but at least your father isn’t too big of a dick. He may be angry and drink all your scotch, but thats what happens when bitches crave the damn cock.
Fuck that bitch cousin, fuck his shit up. I swear to god you better slay it or you ain’t King of the Danes, you’ll just be a pussy fag like Benny the Insane. However if you do become like Benny the bum, I’ll fuck your shit up and your father will drink the rum. You’ll live not another day as that is an unforgivable sin, fuck that man and his little dick and chin. Don’t be a little bitch, don’t pretend to be black, dont be a fucking kike, like Sussman, thats right. Do go into radio, and make your mom money, fuck bitches, get stitches, sell coke to the hoes. Mother knows best, and bro’s before hoes. Praise my literary genius and I’ll teach you one day, you’re the fucking Frodo, I’m Gandalf Fucking Gray.
This shit is ridic, I’m out for the day, time to go snort some crystal herocaine.